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Broken pieces

I always thought that I would never be one of those new moms who suffer from postpartum depression.

Let me be clear: I am not depressed neither have I been diagnosed with postpartum depression.

I am simply speaking from my heart. I feel that I can understand better now what these moms are going through. I get it now.

I must admit that I have not totally been myself since the birth of my little prince. I act and react irrationally sometimes. It is getting better. I have started working out a week ago. I can enjoy drinking wine, eating oysters and sushi again. Yay. 

But some nights, it creeps up on me. I can not sleep because I am overwhelmed by waves of anxiety. I think the worst...What if I lose my children? What if my husband dies? What if I get cancer? What's wrong with me? 

Some days, I cry the lost of hugs and kisses from my first child. I cry the loss of her spot in my arms. I cry for her lost of my time with her. I am constantly anxious that my newborn (born 26 days before its du…

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